CHAPTER FIVE – THE LETTERS OF LOVE - A
My mother left Paris in June, 1934, in the glow of academic success and a whirl of excited anticipation.
She was looking forward to being reunited with her proud parents in Edmonton, after a 12-month separation, the longest they had been apart in her life.
But uppermost in her mind were thoughts of the planned reunion on June 25 with her cousin, Jeffrey, whose letters to her had grown ever more loving in the long months that had passed since she left England.
She first went back to stay with her Uncle Hugh and Aunt Mim at Stowe Cottage in Great Comberton, where I am sure she must have confided in them about her growing feelings for my father.
They must have been concerned at the problems such a relationship would inevitably bring, but they gave her the loving support, which was to prove so valuable in the difficult months to come.
My father’s excitement was barely disguised as he wrote: “Monday, June 25th is the great day and I understand that you will be coming from Pershore. I have decided to take my holiday during the time you are with us (let’s hope it will be six months!) so that I shall be able to help my father during that time and drive the cars for him, as he would find it rather awkward if I were to go away altogether.” He closed by saying: “Just off to Seaton, where, you may remember, we had a rather enjoyable picnic lunch.”
A postcard followed on which he wrote: “Time of train noted. I will be at the station to meet you. Oh 25!”.
One can only imagine the joy with which they greeted each other on the platform at Exeter Station.
Together again in the warmth of an English summer, the young couple’s romance, nurtured in a sea of correspondence, resumed, increasing in intensity day by day, as they once more enjoyed trips to the beach and country picnics.
Their love was no doubt consummated in a number of hidden locations, storing up memories they would share during their later months apart.
I am sure that one of these was close to a fingerpost to Salcombe Regis, against which they photographed each other, smiling happily into the camera, and would later recall this as the Signpost To Love.
If my mother had turned heads as she accompanied her uncle on visits around the sleepy village of Great Comberton, she must have been a sensation in Exmouth with her a-la-mode clothes and the easy style she may well have unconsciously picked up from her Lanvin model cousin, Olga.
She obviously had some money to afford her fashionable casual outfits and she recalled once going into a bank to change one of the massive £5 notes of the time and having it closely examined, as such a large denomination was highly unusual if not downright suspicious.
My grandfather, Raymond, lived up to his stern reputation as The Governor or the Gouverneur as they called him privately, not hiding his disapproval of this increasingly intense liaison between the cousins.
But by August they had determined to marry and spend the rest of their lives together, even though it meant facing a number of harsh realities, including not least the necessity for my mother to find a job so that she could continue to live in England and support herself.
Their excitement was too great to keep entirely to themselves and my mother spread the news in letters to her friends back in Edmonton, a decision she may have regretted later when some premature wedding presents arrived in Devon and were hastily hidden.
All too soon the lovers were parted again, my mother heading off reluctantly to stay with her Aunt Flo and Uncle Frank, who lived in 15, South Cliff Avenue, Eastbourne, Sussex, but were on holiday with Aunt Mim down the coast at Little St Johns in Collington Avenue, Bexhill-on-Sea.
On Saturday, August 18, she wrote: “My darling little boy, I am beginning this on the platform waiting for the train. Thinking of you gives me such courage and I am so sorry that I ended by not being a good girl. Remember it is only the surface that is sad and silly. Down deep, deep I am so happy to have your love and to know that you want me as your woman. I don’t need to tell you to be brave for you are so always, my wonderful man, and remember no more inferiority complex. Love, Christiane.”
That evening she wrote: “My darling, You would never guess where I am writing this – in the bathroom! And this is the answer while Auntie Mim is here. I am sleeping in the same room as the little girl and it is a nuisance keeping the light on while she is sleeping. I shall be going to bed, but I can’t do that before saying good night to my man, who has been so much and is so much in my thoughts.
“After a rather hot journey I arrived here and somehow missed them at the station, but Holly (her cousin) found me while I was waiting for the bus and I arrived to find them all waiting in front of the house (knees are not a good writing desk). Auntie Flo has been kindness itself and has a monster programme so I can’t help being good. Auntie Mim is here - so kind and understanding – do you know when they missed me she thought we might have got married in Exeter!
“I am going to have a real job helping with the children, so that will make things easier. My darling, I see you bathing at Budleigh and remember my thoughts are always with you. You must tell me all about your reading and everything then we will be together, won’t we?”
Then in reference to the dark cloud on their horizon, she wrote: “If Gouverneur would only relent! I think I shall write him a little letter. Au revoir, my dear man, your ring is on my finger and will only be removed for sea bathing. (I must also play tennis with the children!).”
The letter was signed: “Love, my darling, Christiane” with the postscript - “the grease marks are made by cold cream on lips”.
On Sunday, August 19, she wrote: “My darling, little boy, Here I am saying good night to you again, though I did not get my glass of water. I began by spending a very lazy morning sitting in the sun while the others went to church. After lunch I went with Auntie Flo to a very pretty garden, roses, lavender, etc. Auntie Flo is so kind, but is she energetic?, oh boy!, oh boy! Auntie Mim and I gasp – she had us playing a word game tonight till our heads began to swim.
“Auntie Mim and I were going to church this evening, but lost our way and ended by sitting on the sea front. It is nice to have her here. She is so fond of you, so I sing your praises to my heart’s content, but remember my wrinkled nose is never even approached by 200 yards, my darling, who seems to be afraid of his silly little girl. Oh my dear big man, how I am waiting impatiently to hear about everything in Exmouth.”
The letter was signed: “Goodbye for tonight, my darling, a demain soir, LOVE Christiane” and sealed with the first of what were to be many pink lipstick kisses in the months ahead.
The next evening she wrote: “My darling little boy, Here I am writing again in the bathroom. Good night my darling, my thoughts are so much with you.
“Today was another busy time. This morning I played clock golf with the children and then mounted Holly’s bike and went round the garden. I find it comes back quite well, so if we cannot have the motorcycle and sidecar we may go in for push bikes and shorts. Before lunch we went to a children’s service! Apparently they have the darn things every morning, but I think the adults generally escape, at least I hope so!
“In the afternoon, Auntie Flo and the children went off to see friends and Auntie Mim and I took the bus to Hastings where we saw the swimming pool - so nice but not Exmouth!!! My dear little diver. I thought of you so much.
“We arrived home in time for supper, after which we played a card game called “Donkey”, which you probably know (I am not trying to be funny). When the brood was in bed, I wrote home and then continued my tea cosy. Auntie Flo is the soul of kindness, but oh her energy! She is worn out at the end of the day and everyone feels the pace. In my case there will certainly be no time to mope.”
She signed off: “Goodbye till tomorrow, my big man – sensible little girls must get to bed – LOVE” and the postscript – “cold cream lips”.
My father’s reply was equally loving - “My own darling little girl, Thank you so much for your sweet letter, which brought me so much joy this morning. I felt rather rotten at running away from the station on Saturday, but I felt at the time that it would be easier for you and for me if I went like that. I am afraid you would not have been very proud of me if you had seen me as I made my way back to Exmouth. I certainly did not look or feel very tough just then but you know even the strongest radiators have to let off steam some time.
“My dear one, I am so very happy about our love, which is so strong now and which is going to endure for all time. I want nothing more than to be with you and to feel that I can make you happy and glad, and to share joys and sorrows and everything with you. Everyone here has missed you and I have felt so very proud at all the nice things they say about you. In case I have not told you before, you really are a lovely and beautiful girl and a darling in every way, and all the Gouverneurs in the world are never going to make me think any different.
“On Saturday I went to Budleigh and spent the afternoon on a sea-float. My darling, I did and do miss you so very much, but I am going to be happy and to do ordinary things just for your sake as I know you would not want me to be miserable. I have been working hard all day today. It is a great help, but more help than anything is to know that I have your love and that we shall always really be together – always and always. Until tomorrow, little girl, goodbye, and I shall be going for a swim in the baths tonight with you, but no buns after tea. Always remember I love you and am so very proud of you, loveliest girl.”
My mother replied: “My dear big man, My darling, what great happiness your letter brought me this morning. I felt so much that I was close to you, hearing your voice, being strengthened by your courage. How glad I am that you spent a long afternoon at Budleigh, but I do hope that float did not make you dizzy again.
“My little boy, I am so glad to feel that you are doing all the usual things. You must tell me all about the diving and the tap dancing. I also am leading a busy active life, which keeps me fairly philosophical: when you are playing with a lot of noisy children it does make the time pass. I went around the garden on the bicycle this afternoon, I am practising for the bicycle built for two. This morning we went off to a beach service, not at all inspiring, and unfortunately it seems to be a daily affair. This afternoon we watched swimming competitions at the pool here, which is not very good; Exmouth beats it in a hundred ways. We stayed there quite a long time and then walked back to the house, poor Auntie Mim becoming rather exhausted by the boundless energy of her sister. After supper I played whist and bridge with the children and here I am getting ready for bed.
“Goodnight, my darling man, I love you very much. I shall never be able to express it in words. Oh the only thing I want in this world is to be near you, to share everything with you. It is such a comfort to be able to come like this to you every evening. I am so longing for the days when evening will not mean separation. I do so hope that Gouverneur will relent.
“My eyes are beginning to close - ‘Bad for girls’. Good night, once more, my darling – it is so wonderful to go to sleep thinking of you. LOVE Christiane.”
Envelope dated 21 Aug 1934, stamped Exmouth, Devon
Addressed to Miss Christiane Gibbs, at Little St Johns, Collington Avenue, Bexhill-on-Sea
Handwritten letter.
Reverse to envelope has ‘code’ ripped off. -------------------------------------------------------
The Office
Tuesday afternoon
My Darling,
Of course I shall always tell you everything, about me, about doings, about books, and, above all, about you.
I am so very relieved to hear that you have found sympathy and understanding with Aunties Mim and Flo. Gouverneur has not got the slightest conception of what your real character is, and either does not or will not realize your sweet disposition and your supreme unselfishness. He has not mentioned you at all to me, but I have spoken constantly to him of you, and he must realize that you and I are going to belong to each other forever.
On Sunday we went again to Budleigh and spent the morning on the beach, bathing and lazing. In the afternoon, while he slept, I lazed at the Baths, and in the evening went for a walk with Yak, around the rocks at Orcombe Point, and had an Ice Tub for you.
Just imagine Auntie Mim thinking we had got married at Exeter, there is, however, a humorous side to it which I know you will appreciate, and will laugh about it with much wrinkling of the nose, you bad woman. How did the boys like their gifts? I am rather interested to hear the result of my small excursion into juvenile psychology.
Our scheme, you know, the one for which you licked the stamps, is bearing good fruit, and we have already received nearly £15, as the result of it. A Wedding present arrived for you this morning from Edmonton, and I will send it on to you. Fortunately, I was able to conceal it from the big man with the stick, as I came during the morning, but Alice had to pay four shillings excess postage on it. My lovely girl, I do look forward so to your letters, but you must not bother about them if you have no the time or opportunity to write them.
My library subscription is being a great success, and I have been reading at the rate of a book a day. The history book was not very good, as it deal almost entirely with the course politics had taken, and did not examine nearly closely enough the lives of the people, which would have been so very interesting to me. My second effort was a book called, “Everywoman”, and was, I discovered the reminiscences of a prostitute, a subject which much belied its title. My third is called the “Anxious Days” and promises to be interesting, dealing, as it does, with present day mentalities and moralities. My dear girl, I am thinking of you all the time, and loving you, and the memories which you have given me. Everywhere I go, has, for me, some remembrance of a glorious moment spent with you, and the parting, which was considered necessary, has only strengthened my affection and my love for you. There never will be anyone else, there could not be for me, and whatever happens as regards position or money matters, you and I with our accomplishments will always be able to get along.
My darling, I am so very proud of you, and no-one is ever going to take away that pride.
How do you like my notepaper, I bought it for you alone. I am not going to say good-bye any more, even in a letter, but simply good-night, my dear one, and I shall see you in the morning, and all day long. I have your photograph in the office now, and it makes me happy all the time.
Little girl, there are no humans about so …….ad infinitum.
Jeffrey
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Envelope dated 23 Aug 1934, stamped Exmouth, Devon
Addressed to Miss Christiane Gibbs, at Little St Johns, Colington Avenue, Bexhill-on-Sea, Sussex
Typed letter.
Included a printed calling card with Jeffrey R. Gibbs. printed in italics to one side, with Mrs. handwritten at the beginning.
Reverse to envelope has ‘code’ in square J.G 1-2459 ----------------------------------------
The Office,
Thursday,
My dear One,
It is so lovely to get your letters each morning. It seems to put things right for the whole day, but when I read of you doing things with other people it makes me rather jealous, because I am so selfish where you are concerned. I want you all to myself. I suppose it is foolishness, but then, you see, I happen to love you.
I am not being lazy using the typewriter, but I have just been swimming (at the Pool), and my hands are so sticky with the sea water that they will not slide over the paper.
Yesterday, we had a long day out in the country. We started off from Exmouth to go to Axminster, and went up Trow Hill, near the fatal signpost, and as we were a little ahead of our time we pulled in to a side lane to have a read and a smoke. Where do you think that side lane was? It was where we had our little picnic on the day of Beer Regatta, but we did not go quite so far down the lane, and stopped at the corner where there is a grove of trees. After Axminster we went to Honiton, and then came on to the Exmouth over Woodbury Common.
Little girl, things are not the same here now, and I do feel the need of you all the time. I know it is quite impossible as things are. You and I are so much made for each other. I do not believe we had a single wrong word or a cross look the whole time we were together, and I do not believe we could ever have. My lovely woman, I have just had another look at your photograph, and I find it hard to believe that a beautiful girl like you could really love someone like me.
I am enclosing some xxxxxx spares, in case they may come in useful. Good-by girl, and give yourself a kiss for me will you?
It seems that the salt water has affected my typewriting also. I will send you a kiss tomorrow night at 10.30.p.m. See if you can get it.
All my love to you,
Jeffrey
P.S. If you have gone to bed, don’t keep awake for it
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Two handwritten letters – both same date
Bexhill
Aug 25, 1934
My darling,
Good-night my dear man
This evening there was such a beautiful full moon and I wondered if it was also shining in Exmouth. I walked along the sea front with the whole family and it was very lovely and brought back so many memories of another sea-front which is ‘my’ sea-front. Oh how I wish ‘Gouverneur’ would relent, we could all be so happy together and as things now are I am afraid my heart isn’t really in anything.
By the time you receive this, my dear man, Auntie Mim will be with you and I do so hope she will be able to clear things up. It would be so wonderful to have some sort of certainty in front of us.
Today was rather quiet. This morning I played “Sorry” with the children, then we went to church. The man (?) was really good and preached a most interesting sermon on ethics. It was such a relief after the platitudes “dished out” in the beach services. I mentioned this to Auntie Flo and I am afraid I shocked her slightly.
She really has been most kind to me and has done everything in their power to make me happy, but of course she has not Auntie Mim’s understanding.
This afternoon the children went off to the beach and I remained in the garden with Auntie Flo. My tea-cosy is advancing rapidly and I think it will soon be finished.
This evening, as I have already told you, we all went for a walk through a rather pretty wood, then up along the sea-front.
Once the children were in bed, I started reading a very amusing story, Vice Versa, you probably know it, the adventures of a father who changes places with his son.
Now, I am just ready to get into bed and I feel so sleepy, reading a great deal, always has that effect on me. Good-night my darling, my thoughts are always with you.
--lipstick kiss—
Mrs Jeffrey Gibbs’ mark
How lovely it will be to carry that name.
Bexhill
Aug 25, 1934
Good-night my dear man. I come to you as I always shall at the end of the day. I am with you in spirit my darling, until the day when there will be no more good-nights. Your card to-day made me so happy - it is so nice to feel that we are in touch even during the business days.
To-day I went up to the beach with the children and Auntie Flo and then went off on my own to do some shopping. This afternoon we played tennis, then I finished that book “David and Destiny” - very good. After that I went to the beach to collect the children, who were building a sand village. I walked up and down the beach reading your last letter.
I feel so funny and lost without you and it comforts me so much to know that you want me all to yourself, for that is my one wish in life, to be yours forever body and soul. When we are together the whole world somehow seems so different and interesting.
My eyes are becoming so heavy and I cannot yet go to sleep with you, so good-night my dear man.
--lipstick kiss—
Christiane.
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Envelope dated 27 Aug 1934, stamped Exmouth 26 August 1934 then overstamped Eastbourne, Sussex and dated 27 Aug 1934
Addressed to Miss Christiane Gibbs, c/o Mrs Frank Scallon, 15 South Cliff House, Eastbourne, Sussex then redirect to, 15 Colington Avenue, Bexhill-on-Sea
Handwritten letter ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Garden
Sunday afternoon
My own darling little girl
Here is your man again, but rather a sticky man. He has just been swimming across to the Warren and back. I am so very glad, my darling, that you found sympathy in Uncle Hugh and Auntie Mim. Heaven knows, you had little enough of it here. What on ass the Gouverneur is! We went to see football at Exeter yesterday afternoon, and he bought me a season-ticket for the grandstand. In the evening I had dinner at the Beacon, and then assisted in entertaining the visitors with ukulele, charades, etc.
This morning it was Budleigh again, and a float, on which I went right out to sea, and through about you, my love. There is no need for you to attend beach services. Those pearly gates will open wide for you alright. I cannot conceive of your ever having done or thought a wrong thing in your life.
You never mention Uncle Frank. Does he exists or is he merely a cypher? I have ordered another ukulele. A good one this time, and it should arrive this week. I am rather excited about it. Knees don’t make a very good writing desk do they? Alice is out and G. wants his tea. A thousand kisses to you, my darling, and I love you more and more each day.
Jeffrey
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Bexhill, August 27, 1934 – My mother was staying with Great Uncle Frank and Great Aunt Flo at Little St Johns, Collington Avenue, Bexhill-on-Sea.
My dear big man,
We shall be here till the 4th. Be careful when you swim to the Warren, I don’t want my man to drown himself.
Here I am all alone with you again. Auntie Flo and the older children have gone to a lantern lecture, “The Pilgrim’s Progress”. They asked me if I wanted to come and I told them that I had seen it before. I am not quite sure if this was a fib or not, for in my Sunday School days I was subjected to various similar entertainments, though I am not certain that the Pilgrim’s Progress was one of them.
In any case I feel the daily beach services are quite enough for one day. This morning I was very wicked. I took the children down as Auntie Flo was busy and could not come. Then when the children had gone to the front row, I sat on the edge of the circle and buried myself in Vice Versa, which I find most entertaining. I hope my crime was not discovered.
This afternoon I went with Uncle Frank to see the boys play cricket. He is a rather quiet man, who spends most of his day on the golf course, I suspect to escape the noisy family. He and I get on very well together. I watched the cricket till about 4.15 and then went home as Uncle Frank was off in the field acting as referee and the sun was blazing hot.
Two of the beach service men came to tea. Most uninteresting persons, though Auntie Flo waxes enthusiastic over them. Afterwards we played a little tennis then had supper!
Uncle Frank is downstairs listening to the radio. I have just put out the light in the younger ones’ room and with all the others out I am able to come early to my room to talk with you, my darling.
How happy your letters make me. I feel so much that I am with you, hearing your voice, seeing your smile. I do see you so well at the Beacon with your ukulele. Oh, my dear man, it seems so unjust that we should have to do things apart. How I want to hear you play and sing and tap dance.
I would have so loved to go to those football matches with you - you know I have never been to a football match.
Oh my darling little boy, when I think of how happy we could be together, then my courage deserts me. If only Gouverneur would relent. But I am going to be brave, my dear man, whatever happens for your sake. You are everything to me and I do so want to be worthy of you. When I feel silly and foolish, then I think of you and your strength helps me so much.
On Wednesday, I am going to London to have an interview with Captain Charles, who desires a governess for his children. I have also written to that school at Willingdon (near Eastbourne) and am in somewhat of a dilemma as I should prefer this to the governess job and yet I may have to make up my mind quickly.
In any case I am going to London and I shall tell you all about it. Our London, where we should be together. Mr and Mrs Jeffrey Gibbs, wouldn’t it be lovely?
Auntie Mim will be with you now, so give her my love. She has a heart of gold and has helped me so much since I left home. I am hoping that she may be able to help us, hope is such a wonderful thing.
My darling, you must learn a lot of new songs for that ukulele and I will expect such a lot of you the next time to make up for the emptiness in between, but it isn’t real emptiness for when I receive your letters and when I come to you like this at the end of the day, it seems as if I were close, close to you. I am almost ready to ask for my glass of water.
The weighing machine at the garage will be losing pennies, but won’t we make up for it. I weighed myself in Boots the other day – 8 stone, 4 lbs – that is not too bad. I do so want to look nice for my man.
How wonderful to belong to somebody like you – it gives such a warm happy feeling. Good night, my man,
---Lipstick kiss---
Christiane
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Card dated 27 Aug 1934, stamped Exeter 27 August 1934 then restamped Eastbourne 28 Aug 1934 Eastbourne, Sussex and dated 27 Aug 1934
Addressed to Miss Christiane Gibbs, c/o Mrs Frank Scallon, 15 South Cliff Avenue, Eastbourne, Sussex then redirect to, Little St Johns,Colington Avenue, Bexhill-on-Sea on 28 Aug 1934
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Exeter Central Station
Waiting for Auntie Mim
My own darling little girl, What a day today is. 2nd and am I happy about it? Of course, I shall press for an early marriage and shall work all I can to secure it.
And now may the Gods (if such there be) rise up in their wrath and curse this station. May they bring it tumbling down in ashes. And cursed also be the wheels which bore my love from me – but stay – might not those same wheels also bear her back to me.
My own lovely one, I love you every minute of the day, more and more. As you come to me, my sweet, so come I also to meet you with outstretched arms, eager to love you. The world vanishes and I see only you. – Jeffrey.
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Aug 28, 1934
My darling man,
The wind is whistling outside, the rain is pouring down and here I am all along with my little boy. When I am with him nothing matters, the place, the weather – even Manchester would be Heaven.
My darling, the world vanishes for me also and I see only you. That curse’d Exeter station, but it has brought me happiness twice (no it was not the same station) Oh, I do so hope that soon, very soon, those wheels will bring me back to your arms. My darling whatever happens I must see you again if I go off to a job. As I told you, I am going off to London tomorrow and it may be that I shall accept the position if they want me. I have asked very little, only £56 and I am going to ask for school holidays at Christmas and Easter; for then, I must see you, otherwise in spite of all my good resolutions I am afraid I couldn’t bear it and my courage would give out completely.
If I get this job and it is possible, though shan’t give them any answer tomorrow, as I should like to hear from the Willingdon people if I get this job (I am repeating myself but d_____ it I am not a school marm yet) I am determined to get to Exeter on the way and if needs be, stay overnight, so that we can have one whole day together and I promise not to be silly.
I am so glad to feel that Auntie Mim is with you. If she can’t make Gouverneur understand, then nobody ever will.
Today I did some shopping and what do you think I bought? You’ll never guess!, a cookery book, quite a good one. I happened to see it, and so decided to complete my education along those lines. It is very simple and clear and I believe that with tis help I could manage quite a decent meal.
Afterwards, I took the children to the beach service, fortunately the last. Auntie Flo was there so I could not bury myself in “the Tinted Venus.” This afternoon some friends came with their children and we had several sets of tennis. It is coming back gradually, but I think Dorothy Round is still safe
Good-night my dear man. I shall think of you tomorrow and it will give me courage and confidence, just as if you were standing by my side.
Good night my darling. How I should like to take off the suede shoes.
-lipstick kiss-
Christiane
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